I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
