So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
