508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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