he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
