so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
