he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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