man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
