Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
