where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
