Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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