His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
