walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
