I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
