Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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