you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
