People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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