i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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