why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize