the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
