ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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