In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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