I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
