there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
