why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
