well I can't set my house on fire every night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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