He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
