called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
