is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
