She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He kissed a someone with a penis
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
