I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
