And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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