hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
