you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
