Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
