need another drink. this is the easiest way
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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