watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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