Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
