everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
