It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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