We're like a lot better than the average bears
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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