honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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