do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
