You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
