just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
