I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
