he wants to bone in the snuggie
You can't special order awesome
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
