I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
