I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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