i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
