I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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