you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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