The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize