I have demons in me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize