I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
