wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
