i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
