I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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