What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize