her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
