I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
