Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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