That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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