my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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