I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
