Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
