My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
