You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
