Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize