So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
