lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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