You work out of a Hotel?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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