u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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