All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
