yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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