the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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