Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
