he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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